Although I had fallen in love with him well before this day, the first time I told Isaac that I loved him was via text message, sent by the extremely intoxicated version of myself. Overpowered by the feels, each beer unzipped my heart centimeter by centimeter, increasing blood flow into my fingers that typed out three little big words.Thank goodness this lucky girl got a wonderful ‘I love you’ back!
In my previous relationship attempts, experiments, and endeavors; I never really had that instantaneous ease of affection and appreciation. They were always so complicated, difficult, or perplexed. Things didn’t come naturally or sincerely, always some sort of denial or skepticism.
But, with Isaac, I can tell the difference. I attached myself to him so seamlessly, without any doubts, and effortlessly became a big ball of wacky tacky goo over him. And I am perfectly happy with loving him so actively and openly. What’s to hide?
Isaac, a hard-working-hands-on-easy-going-burly-tough-guy, is deep down a tender flame of passion. I don’t just mean this in a charming lover boy way, but in a wholehearted, genuinely sentimental way. He’s….Okay – yes, I could go on forever with how I feel about him, so let’s just get down to the plot of the blog.
This past January was the 6th annual celebration of life for his best friend who passed away. It was my first time experiencing the weekend gathering of souls that went through so much together. As an ‘outsider’, I was absolutely swept away about how much impact a guy named Noah had on so many lives.
It was about a month of dating when we made the trip down to Colorado Springs for Isaac to plan out his back tattoo. He was getting a silhouette of Noah rock climbing, which blended into the Never Summer Mountain Range as well as Tonsai Bay, Thailand; all places he formed so many memories with Noah. On top of that, one of the last sessions will comprise some of Noah’s ashes in the ink.
When we went to Puerto Rico together, we hiked to Brava Beach on Culebra Island. From the dense forest, came a fine sandy beach and waves clashing against rock formations. Isaac climbed over tall boulders and stood staring into the sea, sprinkling a bit of Noah’s ashes: to keep Noah traveling around the world.
Okay – let’s pause, I mean, who’s heart is NOT swollen with adoration?? Now do you know what I mean by: total softy!
This year’s cabin was in Steamboat Springs, where Noah used to live. They’ve done it at Crested Butte as well, where Noah used to live and where he actually passed. There were a core group of boys that I suppose Isaac would consider as really good friends. They had plenty of background together, especially when Noah was in the picture.
Based on the wild stories and endless memories Isaac tells me, I was definitely a little afraid about not fitting in. I’m not much of a rule breaker nor have I had the same kind of exposures to life but, everyone has a past and everyone is still making their future, so who am I to judge?
Even though I agreed to go, I was still hesitant about feeling intimidated. But actually, the inclusion rate was pretty high up there. These boys, with no filters, were still the sweetest people. You could tell they wasted no time on bitterness and chewed on what life gave them.
It’s funny because none of these boys are all that similar. They grew up differently, spoke their minds, and have their own little quirks. It makes it even more impressive about how much they care for each other regardless of how different. These badass starboys know how to stay completely down to earth. It sparked something in me. These are the times having an open mind will take you far. I guess life challenges you to get out of your comfort zone to practice bettering yourself.
It’s unfortunate that they were getting together in remembrance but amazing how much they kept him alive. At one point, I was laughing so hard and looked to my right: a framed photo of Noah that Isaac brought, with his mouth smiling wide and rosy red cheeks – it truly felt like he was there enjoying himself along with us, and I never even met the guy. These are the beautiful things in life.
Dating Isaac has definitely brought me into another perspective. He lives only 15 minutes away from me but in a completely different world. I can not wait for more adventures with him and only hope I can bring him the same enlightenment.